Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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