I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
