Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He passed out mid-signature
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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