what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
