I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
my liver is dry heaving
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
