come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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