Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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