Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
