You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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