WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
tell me about the eggs
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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