Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
