Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
