did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think my moral compass just broke
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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