I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
