i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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