That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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