Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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