Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
