end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
soo... how was my night?
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