guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
