We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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