is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
