Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
