Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
