i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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