It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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