I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
