i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
