Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!

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(914): View more from New York

I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what

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(916): View more from California

Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?

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(319): View more from Iowa

"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...

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(702): View more from Nevada

Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?

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