I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
