whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
