Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
