Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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