well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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