Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
