Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
