I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
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