If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
