you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
