i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
