Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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