so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
