I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
