i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
