jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize