Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
they're like a gay fantastic four
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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