can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
