Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
