Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
