Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
