when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
