Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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