i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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