Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
