Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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