why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
