last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
