I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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