I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
