so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
wow bdsm is so cute
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