so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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