So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
